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Why You Should Compliment Someone You Don’t Like

by Ender Bowen / Monday, 14 August 2017 / Published in Inspire Others

Though you may not like a particular person, that doesn’t mean they have no admirable qualities or accomplishments. So offer a compliment – it may be well-deserved.


Good Exists Separate From Our Bias

We have people in our lives that we simply do not like. We also have people in our lives whom we love but we aren’t particularly happy with right now.

(Marriage, anyone?)

In either case, how we feel about them has little to do with who they are day-to-day, and what they may otherwise accomplish (or be worth).

In other words, a good job is a good job regardless of whether or not you like the person; a good idea is a good idea regardless of whether or not you’re mad at him or her; a good deed is a good deed even if you think that person is typically a poopyface.

Or, in other other words, it’s fair to say that even people you don’t like have admirable qualities.

Operation Joy™ - Offer A Compliment

Being Objective And Dropping Barriers

Offering a compliment to someone you otherwise don’t like accomplishes a couple of different things: (1) It’s meant to get you to see people objectively for their actions and recognize that even people we think are terrible have admirable qualities worth noting; (2) It’s meant to help you drop those barriers that are keeping you from either getting to know that person you don’t seem to like, or to warm tensions between you and that loved one you’re mad at.

Another thing to keep in mind here – you could very well find yourself to be the shunned person who needs a compliment. How would it feel to receive one? Especially when you feel others don’t like you? What if you were to know for a fact that the person complimenting you hasn’t shown much of a fondness for you in the past? Wouldn’t that have lasting meaning and value to you?

As you can see, this mission is for you just as much as, if not more than, it is for them. Go ahead and offer that compliment – you might find it’s well-deserved.

The Art Of The Compliment

Here are some things to think about as you come up with a way to compliment this person:

  1. Has this person accomplished something recently, or had a good idea about something? Acknowledge that.
  2. Have you always liked or respected this person’s style, taste, or specific talent, even if you didn’t particularly like him/her? Admit that and/or ask for tips.
  3. Who was the first person that came to mind while reading this mission?
  4. DO NOT just drop this person an email, text or Facebook post. Be personable. It will mean that much more.

Share

What are some creative ways to compliment someone you otherwise wouldn’t want to compliment? Have you ever attempted to do this before? How did it go? Have you ever been the person someone else didn’t like in this situation? Share your experience below!


Portions of this article were published in Operation Joy: 30 Daily Missions To Inspire Joy In Yourself & Others.

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